The Glenn Beck Program

The Glenn Beck Program

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'DEAR MOM AND DAD': A letter from summer camp in the age of COVID

Dear Mom and Dad,

Greetings from Camp Fowcheeotomee! According to my cabin counselors, I'm having a really swell time! My counselors are really cool, but it's hard to tell them apart in their masks and face shields.

My first activity of the day is horseback. We don't get to ride the horses because the horses aren't fully vaccinated yet. But we do get to watch a video about riding horses. Then we get to stand along the fence, spaced ten feet apart, and watch the wrangler feed the horses. It takes forever because he has to remove the horse's mask between each bite.

Next is archery class, where we get to do mime target practice. My counselor says my motions are spot on and that I'll be really good at using a real bow and arrow when the pandemic is finally over in 15 years.

My favorite activity of the day is the free swim lottery, where three kids get picked to go down to the lake for the limited-capacity free swim. Today I got picked. We didn't actually get in the water since the Director said it's too dangerous, like swimming in a vat of Covid he said. But we did get to play Marco Polo on the dock for a whole hour. My hazmat suit made me very sweaty, LOL.

Mealtimes are the best because I get to sit at a table with the other 3 guys in my cohort group. We try to make each other laugh through the plexiglass partitions. The other day we even had a pretend food fight!

For evening activity, we do an outdoor game like capture the flag, but there's no flag and no tagging allowed. So, it's mainly running and trying not to get within 6 feet of each other.

We end the day with a campfire. The counselors said singing is one of the deadliest ways to spread Covid, so instead of singing we get to write down things about our white privilege on slips of paper and at the end we throw them into the fire. It's pretty neat.

Well, it's almost time for lights out, so I gotta put on my third mask and get ready for bed.

Love,

Your son

P.S. Please, send another case of Purell. My counselor said one case is not enough.


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